Back by unpopular demand

so i may or may not have forgotten my pass word to get into this space. and much to my dismay, blogger has made all of these weird and wild changes that are making it slightly difficult to navigate. so my unsincere apologies if this dribble is that much harder to read. where did i leave off? oh yes, dick clark was a young man, korea was one country and mc nuggets were a healthy white meat. yes, that sounds about right where my last post lived. so what have i been doing you might ask? i quit my job. best decision ever. seriously. it had been a long time coming and those of you who know me well know that it was not a happy place. i would equate it with cleveland. it was indeed a factory of sadness. so i quit that b*tch. i now have not one but two part time jobs. both of which allow me to work when i want. and dont interfere with watching ellen or napping with the dogs. its heaven. granted there is no pile of money waiting for me at the end of each week, but i can do without. thank gosh bobby is happily employed and allows me to be a slack a$$ wife. i'm award winning material in that category. i had the dumb luck to tear my hamstring right about march, when i toed the line to race an open half. timing for me is always impeccable. rather than quit at mile 8 when the pain was seething, i chose to hobble on, merely because i had no idea when the paddy wagon would come and find me. its slowly getting better. i may or may not have googled hammy transplant, just to see what my options were. and like any good dumb runner i have done three races in recent weeks, to the complete dismay of my PT. but i also tell him funny stories (like the time i messed up my gang signs and accidentally called a dude out...) so he loves me. the PT. not the dude. anyway not much in the way of long runs lately. or speed. so that is sucking. i raced a half IM this past weekend. much respect to you fools who do that on purpose. you can read about my suicidal experience here or i can sum it up... in my own special way... smelly town. dreams of bed bugs. yikes. breakfast of champions. lack of directions. my team rocks. bad ass aero helmet that i am so not fast enough to wear. wet suit legal in boiling hot water. conspiriacy by blue seventy. i am unable to swim straight. on the bike. rolling. love the bike. hear me roar. oh wait..hmmm thats odd. stop. thats odder. stop. bewildered on the side of the road. headset loose. four letter words. outside help. penalty. pissed off kari. ride harder. start running. bad. keep running. worse. sofreakinghot. lights out. game over. longest span of my life. i curse you half distance. the health battle still rages on. but that is depressing so we will pretend its a DVR'd episode of 2 broke girls and fast forward through the whole thing becuase there are no good parts. ever. i have attempted and failed at twitter. or tweeting or twittering. i am intimidated by hashtags. what can i say. nothing of consequence happens to me that i can sum up in 140 characters. no, its not that i'm so very complex. i'm that much of a bullsh*tter. i need an entire data plan to just talk about going to the grocery. so with that i will say good night. the next time you hear from me brittany will once again be crazy, we will be at war with canada and the hunger games trilogy will be available on DVD... or blue ray.

wait, its 2012? are you sure?

so yep. if you really miss all my way funny jokes and commentary on life you can pop on over HERE . its been awesome writing about something I love. i've taken alot of ribbing on the abrupt ending. and yes some of it quite funny, i give credit where its due, but please people, if you are going to diss make sure it plays out ok in real life and not just sound good in your head. i'm working on that too.

and well i'm busy watching the batchelor. admit it. so are you. who can miss such a hot mess.

on the TRI front, i'm back to some training, just trying to manage and most of all work the recovery so my old haggered and somewhat uncooperative body can get back in the saddle. some interesting things brewing for 2012 that hopefully can get tied up in a pretty little bow soon. stay tuned, if you care.

the other bulk of my life is spent right here. at the factory of sadness. errrr i mean work. i'm not sure if its gotten worse or if my tolerance has been maxed out. remains to be seen. but the happy side to that is once again the perk-a-lator is up and bubbling and quite possibly some changes might be on the horizon.

could i be more vague? probably not. and i hate those people on FB who post things like "i just got the worst news" OR "so excited about the new addition". so my apologies for sounding like my pet peeve.


signed,
snarky.


home made chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream a la bobby.


sweet new splish a la bradbury

thanks for both!

LOST

an actual post of recent events to come. just too much going on.. and the priority has been the other blog..this one got deleted and probably for good reason.. but i'm bringing it back.
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getting all wrapped up in the holiday spirit. here's my weekend up date version of the 12 days of christmas. sing it. really.



12 miles running (err ok 13)



11 bourbons pouring



10 ladies dancing



9 steelers winning



8 hours sleeping (all weekend)



7 elivs sightings



6 Who Dats saying



5 reeeeeee-ally strong drinks (the rest were merely mild)



4 swimming shrimps (in creole sauce)



3 Brees TDs



2 giddy girls



And a honey badger in the heisman hunt.



and the accompanying evidence....maybe later i'll write the full story.



or head on over to DAMIE.. she made me do it.



and i swear the party is almost over and training will commence momentarily. maybe.

A is for Apple

if there is one thing to know about me, its that i have to be in the mood to write. i'm a diva like that.

snap. snap.

moving on.

Practiqué mi español la semana pasada con el hombre que vino a pintar nuestra casa.

bet you didnt know i could whip that out. thanks college. though still a bitter reminder that i chose NOT to study abroad. loser, party of one.



anyway he (the painter, if you are still trying to remember if you know any other spanish besides cerveza) and i got along like gangbusters (that saying makes absolutely no sense whatsoever).

the only problem is that our dogs dont understand spanish. or english apparently either. though, through the tried and true method of trial and error, they did learn that the paint can is not chicken flavored and owner lady (me) gets pretty pissed when there are oatmeal (paint color) colored footprints on the hardwoods.

moving on.

we scored some carolina panthers tickets as guests of a friend that bid (probably too much) in a charity auction. cam newton? club seats? yes please.

lets everyone stop for a moment and 1-agree that panther blue/teal/hint of aqua is a hell of a hard color to match and 2-give me some props for trying. unless you are 'modern family cam' you dont usually have it. on purpose that is.



two good things happened this day. one. our friend somehow managed to expense the entire thing because bobby is technically one of his customers. that meant free beer. oh and there was a krispy kreme right in the stadium. maybe i should have listed that one first.



the panthers lost. and i might have made a big scene hollering at the "around the league" hi light reel that showed the steelers tied with cinnci. i mean, i had the inside track on the game and the broadcast was clearly behind. and i felt obligated to let the crowd know that, in fact, the steelers were ahead by 7. call me the messenger of truth. and dont think i didnt get a couple of hi-fives.

so about a week ago i got together with neo to craft some posters for our friend doing her first ironman. yes, glitter was involved. quite a lot actually. and yes, after the ironman's husband stopped by he may or may not have gone home to his ironman wife looking like he spent some time with a cheap hooker.

in other news i feel compelled to shake my head at.

lets not fool ourselves. i will be the first one out of here. i dont run intervals on the track for nothing.

and if you're still scratching your head about the apple header. deal with it. i went rogue today.

lingo bingo

is anyone else sick to death of the corporate 'isms that basically say nothing because they are completely beaten to death (perhaps like a dead horse?)

its no wonder that american businesses are going in the crapper. people are too busy trying to get a seat at the table to align their synergy and accomplish key initiatives by EOD. excuse me, i need to bang my head against something hard.

luckily. some of my more forward thinking coworkers found the answer. and i got a nice gift out of it.
not knowing the edges of offensiveness, i wont reveal some of my favorites, but "shit donkey" comes to mind... hours of fun kids. hours.

next topic. football. did you really think it was AT ALL avoidable?

we flew up to pgh to see them whoop on the pats. it was beautiful. the game, not the flight. lets just say bobby read an entire book and i have 8 new facebook friends. it was a LONG day of cancelled flights.
this was outside philly. the remnants of the freak snowstorm that f'd up the east coast. thanks.

we did make it and to the game. might i add it was 34 degrees. thats COLD people. especially when you got on the plane it was 76. great to catch up with my brother. we four partnered up for a game of flip cup.

and of course there was beer pong. good day. muchas gracias to our lovely hosts.

finally made it into the game and i likely didnt shut up for 4 full quarters. though i will make a plea to the folks at heinz field.. as much as we LOVE the renegade song and clips, its PROVEN that our D will give up a big play immediately following. i've seen it EVERY time. so come on. play it when it doesnt count so much. really. i'm begging you.




i came across this and i LOVE it.
ive entitled it "suck it tom".

our buddy marty celebrated his big four oh. and all he got was this stupid plate on the ceiling. sheeeesh.. (errr ok .... he ONLY had to drink 200 different beers to earn it...).

i also flew to ny. at 6 am. that my friends is a BAD idea. i mean there are bad ideas then there is a 6 am flight. totally different level. i did manage to find some time to see central park in the day light. and pop into some shops...

who doesnt want to smell like that? i mean i'm thinking if you combine these two you get Cirrhosis of the liver....(yep had to google how to spell that one)

and then it was time to celebrate marty's bday again. lucky SOB.



what better than to see the foo fighters. oh yes. yes. yes. yes. it was awesome. they played for THREE hours. excellent show.






maybe one of these days i'll actually write something with meaning and depth. or jeez, about triathlon. eh, maybe not.

winner winner chicken dinner

feeling lucky today?

game number one:

one of these lovely ladies is seven months pregnant. can you guess which one? its similar to the shell game where you have a snow ball's chance in hell to get it right. because lets be honest, NO ONE looks it. as evidenced by my coworker who actually said "you're joking right?"

game number two:

guess which of these i had at the fair....if you said "fried oreos" you are correct! if you said: "a rough nite in the tummy dept" you might also be correct! other acceptable answers include: "how is it they are able to fry a fruity beverage" OR "we should have made better rules after the civil war so things like this and dollywood wouldnt happen".

bonus round:

this is the award winning biggest pumpkin. tell me how many times gallagher would have to hit it with a sledge hammer to get it to really spew. (and if you dont know who gallagher is, your world is sad).

next:


this is a two parter... first predict the winner of this game. Then, if you said steelers you get to play again!(if you said the pats i hate you and you are not my friend.and i curse you.) now tell me how many beers will be consumed at our tailgate*.
*beer pong is involved.

if you've made it this far, congratulations for having NOTHING to do today.

lastly, this is a multiple choice question....



thanks for playing. i hope it is not too obvious that i'm pretty low on material these days.....

normal

today i was told i was normal. and i wasnt happy about it. not that i'm some left wing idealist who needs to feel separation and superiority from the general population. nope. far from that.

i've been feeling off. for a while. while the details are not important, the future is. and i'd like to figure out what beat i'm missing.

you might find yourself at this point saying 'jeez, could you be any more cryptic'. well in fact yes i could. but i came to this party a little late and missed the hammering home of the definition of "public domain". meaning people read this shit. so with all due respect, i'll stay vague and perhaps just throw in more comedy bits to make up for it. sound ok?

so lets skip to dessert.

i was in the ladies room today, doing the business. and as i was toweling my hands a co-worker came in. we exchanged pleasantries and i headed out. but then as she clicked closed her latched door, she proceeded to ask me a project related question that unfortunately required a rather lengthy response. ummmmmmmmmmm.

maybe its my fault for not bolting out. or did i give her the green light by saying "hi how are you?" does that open the gates for a full on meeting in the lavatory? is anyone else cringing right now?

so heres a thing. anyone seen that show on CBS called two broke girls? i did. and i regret the 10 minutes wasted. during the game yesterday the station mentioned it was the number one show on tv. with what audience i had to wonder? surely no one with a brain who resides in an english speaking country. who knows.. maybe its better dubbed in french.

i am way excited for a little running road trip. looks like i'm heading down to the big easy for some fun and games. that is shaping up to be a good one.

i'm racing again this weekend. a little trail thing here local. a friend who actually is from pgh who lives her now won it last year averaging something stupid like 545 min miles. my plan is to not fall.

i'm loving reading the full reports from kona and seeing all the photos. hawaii is such an amazing place. and for one split second it made me want to do an ironman.


i stole this off the internet. from the guy who did the cool steve jobs tribute logo. its pretty cool.